and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
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