am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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