U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
