I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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