You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
