I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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