that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
