Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
