I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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