There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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