can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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