im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
