did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
