Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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