saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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