NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
