I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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