I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize