Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
