i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
