That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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