You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
my poor anus
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
