Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize