my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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