Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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