his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
