dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
