I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
