i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
