who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
