May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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