i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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