remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
