i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
