I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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