If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
