She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize