I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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