i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
