Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
