Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
