we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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