SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
