I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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