apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize