Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
