Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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