In the future we'll all be gay
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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