just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
