I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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