Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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