u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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