Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
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