I bet he comes in French.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
