So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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