1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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