Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
only if we run a train.
done.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
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