the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
