i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
