Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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