So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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